It's the weekend and I am not gona leave you hanging. You may quote me on that.
Make yourself some earl grey tea. Not only is it delicious but it is flavored with bergamot essential oil which is a proven mood enhancer.
Get your shit together. Pancake mix - you're not lazy, there are more important things to spend time on. That in the bowl on the left is leftover mash from my bangers and mash guide. Yum. Hash browns!
Put bread in to toast. As they come out, wrap in a dish cloth and put in the oven. Otherwise the toast gets soggy from the moisture of the other things. And soggy toast is nothing but sunburnt bread.
Beautiful red apples at woolies - couldn't resist. First thing: oven at its lowest setting. Make your pancakes mix and let it stand.
Slice that shit up anyway you like. As long as it looks like this. Nah I'm kidding - do what you want. Drizzle with lemon juice to stop discoloration.
Ok. Bacon. It is a bone of contention. I won't eat it unless I've cooked it because it seems that no one. In the world. Knows. What crispy bacon is. And if it isn't crispy there is no point to bacon.
Here's how you get crispy awesome bacon. You can use shoulder bacon or streaky. I prefer shoulder. Spray a pan with lots of non stick spray. Put the pan on medium heat and lay pieces of bacon down.
Let it go for a few minutes then flip it. Keep flipping every few minutes till it start to look browned and almost burnt - a few blackened bits are fine. Keep flipping so it doesn't actually burn.
It will reduce in size dramatically. When it starts to look brittle but still has some give, take it out and transfer it to a dish lined with three layers of paper towel. This is essential.
Different pieces of bacon will be ready at different times. Add more bacon as space becomes available. Add more spray from time to time. Keep the pan with paper towel in the oven.
The towel drains the fat and the low heat of the oven dries it to make it super crispy. You're then left with a pan of bacon flavored fat to cook the hash browns in. Oh yeah.
While the bacon cooks, start the pancakes ...
Spray another pan with non stick spray liberally. Put pieces of apple in the pan as pictured. Set the heat to medium. Pour pancake batter over and sprinkle it with a bit of cinnamon and sugar.
It's gonna look like this.
Once the pancake is set, flip half over like an omelette. Sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar. Leave it a couple minutes the fold again to make a quarter or leave it in a half moon and flip over again.
When the bacon's done, use that pan for the hash browns. Take tablespoons of mash or grated potato and squish them into your well greased bacon pan. Medium heat.
Be careful when turning them, they're squishy. Get the edge of the spatula just under the edge of the hash brown, and then in one quick, sharp movement, slide the spatula under and then flip it.
Mushrooms make breakfast awesome. Slice them thin.
Once your hash browns are done, spray the pan again, and add your mushrooms and season. Add a bit of oil if need be and stir fry. Add the lemons you squeezed earlier - just stir around them.
They will reduce dramatically. When they're well browned you can put them in a bowl in the oven.
Always do your eggs last. If there are a lot of people, do scrambles. Budget two eggs per person and portion the mass so people don't over do it.
Otherwise fried eggs are a go. The key points: medium heat, well greased. Break the eggs in, coax them with a spatula to an acceptable shape and size then cover with a pot lid. Check after a minute.
Once it's all done get busy. Worcestershire sauce and tomato sauce on eggs on toast, crispy bacon with the pancakes, add cream to that if you like, sautéed mushrooms and gallons of tea. Wonderful.